Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Honest Scrap

So, Nicki tagged me for this Honest Scrap - shouldn't it be called an Honest Blog??? I have to list 10 simply amazing, wonderful things about myself and it feels like a chore. Nicki promises me it gets fun once you start - - we'll see.

#1. I have a secret "wild child" inside me (maybe not so secret). I don't know why. I don't have any desire to get unbelievably drunk and do embarrassing things, but I do have the urge every now and then to do the unexpected and be just a little bit of a rule breaker, maybe even a tad rebellious. I have never had any desire to just be normal, but I always thought that had to do more with self-esteem issues and less with living outside the box. However, I feel the need to keep that part of myself locked away in a safe place and only parade her in front of people I know really well, like my family and a very few close friends! 

#2. Even though I am a professed consumer of all things natural and homeopathic, I have been known to throw in the towel and use OTC aids, especially if I have a killer sinus headache that I can't shake. I usually try the more natural methods first, but if they don't cut the mustard, I have no compunction about trying drugs. Katri would be ashamed of me.

#3. There is not one public figure that I idolize. A few have good qualities that I admire, but I don't cry or go into a frenzied contortion when I see them in public or on tv. They are just very ordinary people to me, and as far a celebs go - mostly unbelievably stupid. But I do have a few very strong women in my personal life whom I greatly admire. My mom and my grandmothers come to mind. They were/are strong women physically, mentally and spiritually and very well grounded. I admire that hard work was never daunting to them, just something they had to do and I never heard them complain about it, they even enjoyed it. I idolize them.

#4. I cried shamelessly when I got called to work in the Nursery two weeks ago. I mostly managed to do that privately, but Kent got an earful. I had no desire to go to church knowing that after Sacrament Meeting, I would be stuck in the Nursery for two painfully long hours. When I complained about it to mom I got no sympathy, in fact, she told me she loved it ( she did it just a few years ago). My first week in there was a living hell, last week wasn't so bad and I'm afraid to admit that I may even end up liking it (I can at least tolerate it).  Me and one other woman are the youngest workers in there (out of about 6 or 7), the rest are a bit older. Right now we have something like 20 kids in there, but by the end of the year we are supposed to be around 30-35. What's up with only asking the Grandma-age women to work in Nursery, not to mention NO MEN?!? Grudge, grudge.

#5. I'm still broken hearted that Adam Lambert turned out to be such a public disgrace. I loved him on American Idol, even had pictures of him plastered all over my scrap booking room (but I never did idolize him, just loved watching him perform and loved his moderated  "wild child", I could identify). This year American Idol seems boring compared to his performances last year.

#6. In many ways I am an old-fashioned, traditional girl at heart. I love old things - the older, the better. I love canning fruits and veggies. I love being a stay-at-home mom and not having a career and I love having a husband to take care of me and a family to take care of. I love the modern conveniences, but also find myself often wondering what it would have been like to be a prairie girl like Laura Ingles.  A few weeks before we moved from CA I had a dream that we bought a little two-story house with a wrap-around porch sitting in the middle of a meadow with wagon wheel tracks coming up to the front gate (rickety picket fence included). I was the local school teacher of about 5-10 children. I remember being so happy when I woke up from that dream and I felt so peaceful. I think of that dream a lot and I honestly think it is one of the happiest dreams I have ever had. Weird, huh! Lately, I've also had a hankering for a treadle sewing machine, one that works, so I can make quilts on it. (I would probably really hate that in the end).

#7. Most of the time I have too much time on my hands. I love being able to relax and just take it easy, but not every day. Today, for example, it is 1:30 in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas. This happens on a regular basis, but not all the time. That is not to say that I don't work, I just do it in my jammies. That may also explain why I love to blog, but can never think of anything interesting to blog about. I love reading other people's blogs. However, too much down time leads me to depression. I have to have things to do, I just like to do them on my time schedule, not someone else's. That's why I don't have a full time out-of-the-house job. Here is a sample of my typical day: up at 6:00, cook breakfast for kids and get them out the door for school, exercise, then I have hours upon hours of time to do whatever I want, then the kids come home, I cook dinner, RELAX from my taxing day, bed at 11:00. I need to get a bit more of a life. Could be weather related - I am actually busier in the spring/summer/fall. 

#8. My new favorite indulgence is plain Greek yogurt with a bit of honey and cinnamon sprinkled on top. Not the low or non-fat type, but the full on high-content fat. It is to die for and I love it more than ice cream, but I have to limit myself to only one serving a day (according to the scales, less than that).

#9. I secretly dread all my children moving out of the house and far away from me. What I really am afraid of is that Kent and I will have empty lives without them. Not that I want them to stick around forever (Heaven forbid). I love that they go out on their own and can manage and do well, I just wonder what it will be like when they all leave. They have given depth to and filled our lives more than I can even begin to explain. I hope some of them live close enough that I can spoil grandchildren and enjoy their company. Will Kent and I have something to talk about and stress over when they are gone??? Before we had kids, Kent and I thought we were living rich and full lives, but I could never go back to being childless now. I do, however, also look forward to spending more time with Kent when and if he ever retires. 

#10. This is my last one so it had better be a good one! I miss having a "girlfriend" close by that I can go and do stuff with. As much as I love my daughters, sometimes I just want to hang out with someone my own age and say things to them that I could never say to my daughters. I have had friends like that in the past, but I don't live close to them any more and I miss them. I also have that kind of a relationship with my sisters and mom, but again, I don't live close enough to them that we can just drop everything and go to a movie or do something fun together, everything has to be planned weeks in advance. I have friends here, but not the same connection I've had with friends in the past (hope none of them read this, cuz I do love them). Most of the time it doesn't bother me b/c I love being with Kent and my children, but every now and then I just want to go and do the "girlfriend" thing and laugh my head off at all the dumb things people around me are doing, all the dumb things my husband has done and all the dumb things my kids have done, not to mention all the dumb things I have done. As much as I love it, sometimes I just need a break from "mom" and "wife" mode.

#11. I know, I know, 10 is my limit, but I just thought of one more thing and it is really important - at least to me. I can be unbelievably oblivious to when I offend people. I don't mean to do this, stuff just comes out of my mouth and I never figure it out until much later that whatever I've said could be misconstrued and offensive. I truly never mean to be mean or hurtful to people, but I know there have been times. So to all of my friends, family and associates, past and present, I apologize from the depths of my heart and pray you will forgive whatever I said that was painful or offensive to you. Does this blanket statement count?

Okay, so that wasn't so bad, although it was time-consuming. The four I am going to tag:

1. Kim - sorry Kim, I know you are busy, but for as long as I've known you, I still don't feel like I know you well enough.
2. Bonnie M. - she always has an interesting point of view and it will be fun to read her responses.
3. Regan - her comments will make me laugh my head off. She is so funny. But no pressure, here, Reg. Feel free to be more honest than funny.
4. Lisa C. McKnight - I feel like she is all alone out in Penn. while the rest of the fam is hanging out in Utah. We miss you girlie!

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Real St. Valentine

I'm not sure I've ever contemplated where Valentine's Day comes from. I always assumed it was a "Hallmark" holiday, until I read this from my niece's blog. I love the story and wonder if it is really true, although I do know there was a St. Valentine. Valentine's cause of death would put him in the "Saint" category!

"One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death."

I wish I had seen this before the holiday was over, but no matter - be sure to tell your loved ones each and every day how much you love them. 

P.S. Now that Valentine's Day is over I have finally figured out how to change my background! Yipee!!!