Honest Scrap

So, Nicki tagged me for this Honest Scrap - shouldn't it be called an Honest Blog??? I have to list 10 simply amazing, wonderful things about myself and it feels like a chore. Nicki promises me it gets fun once you start - - we'll see.

#1. I have a secret "wild child" inside me (maybe not so secret). I don't know why. I don't have any desire to get unbelievably drunk and do embarrassing things, but I do have the urge every now and then to do the unexpected and be just a little bit of a rule breaker, maybe even a tad rebellious. I have never had any desire to just be normal, but I always thought that had to do more with self-esteem issues and less with living outside the box. However, I feel the need to keep that part of myself locked away in a safe place and only parade her in front of people I know really well, like my family and a very few close friends! 

#2. Even though I am a professed consumer of all things natural and homeopathic, I have been known to throw in the towel and use OTC aids, especially if I have a killer sinus headache that I can't shake. I usually try the more natural methods first, but if they don't cut the mustard, I have no compunction about trying drugs. Katri would be ashamed of me.

#3. There is not one public figure that I idolize. A few have good qualities that I admire, but I don't cry or go into a frenzied contortion when I see them in public or on tv. They are just very ordinary people to me, and as far a celebs go - mostly unbelievably stupid. But I do have a few very strong women in my personal life whom I greatly admire. My mom and my grandmothers come to mind. They were/are strong women physically, mentally and spiritually and very well grounded. I admire that hard work was never daunting to them, just something they had to do and I never heard them complain about it, they even enjoyed it. I idolize them.

#4. I cried shamelessly when I got called to work in the Nursery two weeks ago. I mostly managed to do that privately, but Kent got an earful. I had no desire to go to church knowing that after Sacrament Meeting, I would be stuck in the Nursery for two painfully long hours. When I complained about it to mom I got no sympathy, in fact, she told me she loved it ( she did it just a few years ago). My first week in there was a living hell, last week wasn't so bad and I'm afraid to admit that I may even end up liking it (I can at least tolerate it).  Me and one other woman are the youngest workers in there (out of about 6 or 7), the rest are a bit older. Right now we have something like 20 kids in there, but by the end of the year we are supposed to be around 30-35. What's up with only asking the Grandma-age women to work in Nursery, not to mention NO MEN?!? Grudge, grudge.

#5. I'm still broken hearted that Adam Lambert turned out to be such a public disgrace. I loved him on American Idol, even had pictures of him plastered all over my scrap booking room (but I never did idolize him, just loved watching him perform and loved his moderated  "wild child", I could identify). This year American Idol seems boring compared to his performances last year.

#6. In many ways I am an old-fashioned, traditional girl at heart. I love old things - the older, the better. I love canning fruits and veggies. I love being a stay-at-home mom and not having a career and I love having a husband to take care of me and a family to take care of. I love the modern conveniences, but also find myself often wondering what it would have been like to be a prairie girl like Laura Ingles.  A few weeks before we moved from CA I had a dream that we bought a little two-story house with a wrap-around porch sitting in the middle of a meadow with wagon wheel tracks coming up to the front gate (rickety picket fence included). I was the local school teacher of about 5-10 children. I remember being so happy when I woke up from that dream and I felt so peaceful. I think of that dream a lot and I honestly think it is one of the happiest dreams I have ever had. Weird, huh! Lately, I've also had a hankering for a treadle sewing machine, one that works, so I can make quilts on it. (I would probably really hate that in the end).

#7. Most of the time I have too much time on my hands. I love being able to relax and just take it easy, but not every day. Today, for example, it is 1:30 in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas. This happens on a regular basis, but not all the time. That is not to say that I don't work, I just do it in my jammies. That may also explain why I love to blog, but can never think of anything interesting to blog about. I love reading other people's blogs. However, too much down time leads me to depression. I have to have things to do, I just like to do them on my time schedule, not someone else's. That's why I don't have a full time out-of-the-house job. Here is a sample of my typical day: up at 6:00, cook breakfast for kids and get them out the door for school, exercise, then I have hours upon hours of time to do whatever I want, then the kids come home, I cook dinner, RELAX from my taxing day, bed at 11:00. I need to get a bit more of a life. Could be weather related - I am actually busier in the spring/summer/fall. 

#8. My new favorite indulgence is plain Greek yogurt with a bit of honey and cinnamon sprinkled on top. Not the low or non-fat type, but the full on high-content fat. It is to die for and I love it more than ice cream, but I have to limit myself to only one serving a day (according to the scales, less than that).

#9. I secretly dread all my children moving out of the house and far away from me. What I really am afraid of is that Kent and I will have empty lives without them. Not that I want them to stick around forever (Heaven forbid). I love that they go out on their own and can manage and do well, I just wonder what it will be like when they all leave. They have given depth to and filled our lives more than I can even begin to explain. I hope some of them live close enough that I can spoil grandchildren and enjoy their company. Will Kent and I have something to talk about and stress over when they are gone??? Before we had kids, Kent and I thought we were living rich and full lives, but I could never go back to being childless now. I do, however, also look forward to spending more time with Kent when and if he ever retires. 

#10. This is my last one so it had better be a good one! I miss having a "girlfriend" close by that I can go and do stuff with. As much as I love my daughters, sometimes I just want to hang out with someone my own age and say things to them that I could never say to my daughters. I have had friends like that in the past, but I don't live close to them any more and I miss them. I also have that kind of a relationship with my sisters and mom, but again, I don't live close enough to them that we can just drop everything and go to a movie or do something fun together, everything has to be planned weeks in advance. I have friends here, but not the same connection I've had with friends in the past (hope none of them read this, cuz I do love them). Most of the time it doesn't bother me b/c I love being with Kent and my children, but every now and then I just want to go and do the "girlfriend" thing and laugh my head off at all the dumb things people around me are doing, all the dumb things my husband has done and all the dumb things my kids have done, not to mention all the dumb things I have done. As much as I love it, sometimes I just need a break from "mom" and "wife" mode.

#11. I know, I know, 10 is my limit, but I just thought of one more thing and it is really important - at least to me. I can be unbelievably oblivious to when I offend people. I don't mean to do this, stuff just comes out of my mouth and I never figure it out until much later that whatever I've said could be misconstrued and offensive. I truly never mean to be mean or hurtful to people, but I know there have been times. So to all of my friends, family and associates, past and present, I apologize from the depths of my heart and pray you will forgive whatever I said that was painful or offensive to you. Does this blanket statement count?

Okay, so that wasn't so bad, although it was time-consuming. The four I am going to tag:

1. Kim - sorry Kim, I know you are busy, but for as long as I've known you, I still don't feel like I know you well enough.

2. Bonnie M. - she always has an interesting point of view and it will be fun to read her responses.

3. Regan - her comments will make me laugh my head off. She is so funny. But no pressure, here, Reg. Feel free to be more honest than funny.

4. Lisa C. McKnight - I feel like she is all alone out in Penn. while the rest of the fam is hanging out in Utah. We miss you girlie!

The Real St. Valentine

I'm not sure I've ever contemplated where Valentine's Day comes from. I always assumed it was a "Hallmark" holiday, until I read this from my niece's blog. I love the story and wonder if it is really true, although I do know there was a St. Valentine. Valentine's cause of death would put him in the "Saint" category!

"One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death."

I wish I had seen this before the holiday was over, but no matter - be sure to tell your loved ones each and every day how much you love them. 

P.S. Now that Valentine's Day is over I have finally figured out how to change my background! Yipee!!!

It's only a dance step

Monday morning, January 25th, I was at the oncologists office with my mom. She was getting her blood drawn so they could check and see if her numbers were where they needed to be in order to get her chemo treatment. I saw this quote printed on regular old copy paper, taped to the wall of the lab room. "An optimist is someone who views one step back as a dance step." I don't recall who that quote was by or even if it is correct, but it was something to that effect. I loved it and thought of all places, this was an appropriate place for that quote. Many people who go there probably feel like they take many steps back in their recovery. Some never move forward. So far mom has done extremely well with her chemo. She has a pretty positive attitude, support from her family, many prayers offered in her behalf and a few extra therapies to 0ff-set the damaging side effects of chemo. We are hoping and praying that these things will all work to her good and give her an edge over the side effects. Yesterday her white blood cell count was up, but her red blood cell count was down - it seems like there is always a trade-off. She got a shot to raise her red blood cell count and was able to continue with her chemo. She didn't much like the shot, it stung a bit, but the sting left as soon as the shot was over. Dad left to go run errands, I stuck around for a while, but mom looked tired so I left for a while so she could rest. However, that did not happen. When I came back I noticed that mom  had had a nosebleed while I was gone. She was, however, very tidy and didn't get any blood on her clothes. That would be something very important to mom - if you're going to bleed, be tidy about it! I was feeling horribly guilty that I had left her and so was dad, but the nurses were taking good care of her. Of course, the nose bleed lowered her blood sugar levels so she had to have a glass of juice with a granola bar, a rare treat for her as she is also diabetic. She finished up her treatment and we ended up back at my brother's house where mom and dad stay every Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. It is a very convenient and peaceful place for them to be while we see how mom handles each of those chemo treatments. Three down, 21 to go. Remember mom, it's only a dance step!!!

Check out this blog.

Two posts in one day - woot, woot! Nicki introduced me to this blog, www.bringingladyback.blogspot.com. It is a fun site to visit and has great quotes and thoughts about being "lady-like", a somewhat lost art in our society. Nicki also nominated me for a "sitting pretty session" and the host of the blog interviewed me. Click on the above blog address, scroll down a bit and see the interview. It was fun to think about her questions and what they meant to me. I had to truly think about my answers and even though I fall short on many accounts, I truly believe what I said. Enjoy reading this blog!

Winter sports are not for wimps!

Kent, me and Colt Farmer (could be Cade Farmer)
Colt or Cade, Tucker, Hunter and Lanell, my sis.

Kenna doing her snowboard thing.

I'm in the yellow coat, Hunter is sitting in the snow, and Lanell is in the white coat.

We've had a bit of snow lately and have been promising Kenna and Trevor we would let them take a day off school and we would go skiing. We finally did it yesterday and had a ton of fun. I love that we live so close to a ski resort and can do this. I took up the sport in 2004 or 2005, can't remember for sure. But one thing I do know - I should be way better at it than I am. Every year when we go for the first time I am unbelievably nervous that I will hurt myself, or worse yet, someone else on the slopes. We only did a few runs yesterday as it was blizzardy and kind of hard to see, not to mention the fact that every year our first trip to the mountain is like the first time I have been on skiis - ever! I really wish I would get better at it, but I still do the same three or four runs I always do. They are familiar to me and I am somewhat comfortable on them. Kent keeps telling me to relax and I would ski better, but I don't believe him. These pictures are from a couple of years ago. We invited the Farmer's to go with us (my sister and her family, for those who don't know). We had a blast with them, and I would love it if they would come and ski with us again, but I know it's our turn to go with them and they ski Targee. That is over by West Yellowstone and there is no way I'm doing that. I'll stick to our own little Beaver Mountain, thank you very much. Kenna snowboards and Trevor skiis and they are both pretty good, fearless in fact. Kent has been skiing since he was a teenager and is so patient to just hang out on the easy runs with me. Every now and then he and Trevor like to do a black run while I sit in the lodge and finally relax. Despite the trauma, I truly do love being out in the beautiful winter surroundings (as long as it isn't too cold - very fair weather I am). I even enjoy skiing when I get to the bottom of the hill and realize how much fun I had coming down in one piece.  We never could get Regan and Nicki very interested in coming along and learning with us. They miss out and we miss them because we have so much fun together and I always wish they were with us. So, to end this blog - if anyone out there wants to come to Beaver and ski with us, you are more than welcome to come along - the more the merrier. Just be aware of the fact that I do granny-style skiing!

Best Holiday Ever!

I apologize first off for not having any pictures. Since Nicki was here, I completely let her take over the picture-taking. So for the highlights of the season:

1. Nicki coming home from New York for two weeks. It was so much fun to have her here and the time flew by. It should have been a tad bit longer.

2. Christmas Eve - we always play the "Johnny Wright" game where you sit in a circle and pass gifts to the left and right according to directions given in a silly little story. This year I opted out and was the reader (okay, I'm always the reader, but I usually try to pass and read at the same time). I had made everyone a memory book of our Christmas trip to Mexico a couple of years ago. I was so excited to give this gift as we all loved the vacation. Now the pictures are in a safe place and if they get lost, it's not my fault. 

3. Closing ranks when the family was together. Getting ready for Christmas this year was hectic and once Nicki was home I closed off to everything but my family and had a fabulous time with them.

4. Meeting McKay - Nicki's boy. For pics you'll have to go to her blog, Nicki-tyler.blogspot.com. or just click on the right of my blog on her name. McKay is from Houston, lives in Connecticutt and is a sweetheart. He got here New Year's Eve and stayed through Sunday, they both left Monday morning and it was so quiet when they left. We really enjoyed meeting him and had tons of fun while he was here.

5. Sledding in the snow. This was a fun activity until, one-by-one, we all got hurt. Thankfully, nothing too serious, we stopped before our not-so-great luck ran out. Some of us are still nursing wounds. 

My only 2010 Resolution is to be better organized. Of course, that means lots of little goals to accomplish this big one, it will be a challenge for me. Lots of new changes coming in our family and we are looking forward to that. 

Ya Gotta Love the Endorsements!

Endorsements are always great, especially if they come unsolicited! This is what one customer wrote about Itty Bitty Soaps on her blog.

"If you are looking for something awesome to give a friend or family member look no further! Caroline has created some beautiful, healthy, handmade soaps that sound good enough to eat. I am sure their scent is divine and cannot wait until my package arrives. Seriously, I went through her list and had to stop when I had already purchased 5 bars and wasn't to the end yet. She has some wonderful Christmas scents that cannot be resisted! They would make fabulous stocking stuffers too! I can just see a big apothecary jar full of these beautiful soaps in my "coming soon" new bathroom!

I have posted this link as a permanent fixture on my blog so I can go back anytime I want and order more. Their appeal will be all year long for me! While she is working on a button, it will be at the bottom of my blog. You'll see her Itty Bitty Soap Company logo, you can't miss it...don't you just love the name of her company? Her lovely creations will be coming to you from Utah! Place an order soon and please tell her I sent you! Enjoy and pamper yourself and others with Caroline's all-natural soaps today. I highly recommend them!"

Then when she received the order this is the email she sent me.

Dear Caroline,

I got the soaps and LOVE them.  Even Jim is going nuts! . . . You have a winner here!  And thank you so much for the extra ones!  . . .  I put your link on Facebook...did I tell you? . . . Fabulous idea and so perfect for your life style too. Love everything about it!  What a great adventure for you!  The packaging is adorable!